I'm not naive enough to believe that women actually want men to do the dishes, they more likely want men to want to do the dishes for them. Doing something that you and probably everyone else in the world doesn't want to do for the person you love shows that not only you appreciate them, but you're willing to do something you really can't stand just to please them, so in a sense the man isn't wanting to do the dishes, he's wanting to please her. Any women reading this can correct me if I'm way off the mark, but I'm trying to understand.

Nobody Likes Doing The Dishes

Posted on Posted in Marriage

Apologies to all of the die hard fans of Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston, but I’m about to paraphrase and potentially misquote one of your favourite films because today I had a “I want you to want to do the dishes.” moment.

Now I’m not naive enough to believe that she actually wants him to want to do the dishes, but she more likely wants him to want to do the dishes for her.  Doing something that he and probably everyone else in the world doesn’t want to do for the person you love shows that not only do you appreciate them, but you’re willing to do something you really can’t stand just to please them, so in a sense the man isn’t wanting to do the dishes, he’s wanting to please her.  Any women reading this can correct me if I’m way off the mark, I’m trying to understand but struggle significantly.

Now while my wife was out, I thought I would do something I can’t stand just to please her, a bit of housework.  Only fair; she works hard all day with the kids and the house so while she is out the least I could do after a long hard day’s work is a bit of her job too.  I put a wash on, and admittedly it’s been a while but I know the fundamentals; however, I have been shouted at enough times for getting these thing wrong, so I thought I would play it safe and leave a couple of danger items until the next wash.  I emptied and folded the things in the dryer in anticipation of the next load and then began cooking my own dinner.

I sat eating all proud of myself and expecting a, “Ah, thanks for putting that wash on.”  All I got was a series of humphs and exhales.  I missed a sock because it fell out of the load while I was carrying it and my son down the stairs, humph, I didn’t put the danger items in the first wash despite them being safe, exhale, I folded the dry stuff but didn’t put them away, exhale humph!

I know I didn’t do a great job, but I tried, I did something I hate to show I care and all I got was grief.  It’s not the first time I got this reaction, every time I try I get criticised rather than applauded.  I’m not after a photo on Facebook declaring my success to other wives in order to make them jealous, and some may say I should learn from my mistakes and stop making them, but bottom line is I tried, maybe next time, when I’m criticised for never doing anything I can just put on The Break Up and say, “See, I did what Jennifer wanted and that’s not even good enough for you!” I wanted to do the dishes, she didn’t say anything about wanting to do them well!

3 thoughts on “Nobody Likes Doing The Dishes

  1. Amen on this one Brother. I have the same every time I make the other half a cup of tea. Ohhhh its not strong enough. Erghhhh there’s to much milk.

    Women. They were invented to test us!

  2. I can see both sides here. Firstly I do understand why you’d want the acknowledgement that you helped out, but, and really this should be a BUT. We don’t get thanked for doing the laundry, shopping, dental appointments, cleaning the bathroom etc. It’s just accepted that it happens. And if someone else does it, yes, it’s great – but here’s that but again – knowing it’s not done “right” is irritating. We can’t help it. It rankles.

    I’m quite sure my guy thinks I should thank him for doing the dishes BUT when the cooker is left covered in gunk and all the empty cans and bottles are left on the side rather than being rinsed out for the recycling, it really takes the shine off things, because I have to finish the last job before I start anything else.

    Personally, I’d said it’s not that we aren’t appreciative, but we see the entire job. And the missing bits are what causes the exhales.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, let me know what you think